I went back to work a month ago and have been extremely fortunate to be working part-time: three ten-hour days. So I have four days a week with, you know, the coolest baby on the planet. However, that doesn’t make the three days when we’re separated as easy breezy as a Cover Girl.

One morning I was ready to leave for work and Tessa hadn’t woken up yet so I was facing the possibility of not seeing or nursing my baby in the morning. An internal conflict ensued: do I wake a sleeping baby or leave for an ENTIRE day without cuddling with her? A couple of tears later and I was in her room hugging, holding and nursing her. It had to happen.

I have also become protective of my time with her. Since I already have to spend 30+ hours a week away from my baby, I am hesitant to partake in activities that don’t include her. Why? Because she’s the most amazing person.  And I think it’s strange if other people aren’t equally obsessed with her.

Which brings me to daycare. I was told by other mommies that all I could hope for is feeling “satisfied” with any childcare that isn’t moi. And I guess that’s accurate. This past month I’ve tried to understand why I’m only satisfied. I mean her daycare is really nice, the teachers are wonderful, they absolutely adore Tessa, and they follow her feeding and napping schedule. What more could I want?

It’s kinda like the first day I picked up Tessa from daycare. I was so excited to see her. DYING to see her. I eagerly opened the door to the infant room and there she was. This little bundle of absolute love and joy playing in a bouncy seat. She was like a beacon of light and I could hear angels singing – all reminiscent of Indiana Jones’ quest for the Holy Grail with the cup glowing in amazing perfection. And I was shocked – SHOCKED – that all three teachers weren’t surrounding her admiring how she blinks, sighs, and smiles. I mean SHE’S A BEACON OF LIGHT!

And I guess because they aren’t in awe of her every movement is why I only feel satisfied. But that’s okay. Because I know the truth. My baby totally rocks.